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(Rita Rudner) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin) My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman) My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield) A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. (Milton Berle) I was married by a judge.
63 UNIQUELY FUNNY Husband & Wife Marriage Jokes (Easy to Share)
One Liner Marriage Jokes. Whether it is a knock-knock joke or a simple one-liner, everyone should laugh every now and then. These jokes are a real knee-slapper. My wife's dress sense is meant to kill anybody, her cooking is quite the same. Arguing with your husband is fun, even if he wins or loses.
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12 Wife Jokes You Haven't Heard Before July 7, 2016 Wives are an easy target for jokes. Or, at least, stereotypical wives are, who have photographic memories and are paired with forgetful guys. Wives that won't stop talking, and still can remember every word of each conversation between her and her husband.
50 Jokes About Being Married That Are Funny Even If You’re Not
Husband: "How could I do that? I barely know her." What's the difference between marriage and love? Love is blind while marriage is an eye-opener! Wife: What about dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my options? Wife: Yes and No. My husband and I were looking at the marriage certificate for thirty minutes when it hit me.
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Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
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A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no secrets except for one: The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed—and with her blessing—he opened the box and found a crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.
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Wife to husband: "They want your underwear." One liner tags: communication, health, marriage, rude. 81.23 % / 699 votes. I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. One liner tags: marriage, mistake, women. 80.82 % / 110 votes. Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again. One liner tags: marriage, sarcastic, women.
Funny Joke Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I
The Best Marriage Jokes: Husband and Wife Jokes RD.COM Jokes Marriage Jokes Marriage Jokes Live on the fun side of marriage with our wife jokes and funny husband jokes. Marriage.
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Hilarious One Liners: Marriage, Group 1 By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. - Groucho Marx In my house I'm the boss.
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A joke does not have to be complicated; neither does marriage. Therefore, we want to start with simple and quick jokes. Easy to remember, yet burning 😉 Sometimes, that one-liner marriage joke is enough to make the world go round and everyone on the floors laughing like crazy! Take note, these also include comedian jokes about marriage.
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160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage If you're seeking for wife jokes, you'll find lots of them here. Relationships are difficult. Marriage? Even more difficult. Anyone who claims marriage is simple is delusory. Don't get us wrong: matrimony has advantages.
51 Kinky Husband and Wife Jokes for Couples EverythingMom
A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you'll never miss the 'magical moment' and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you've calculated your timing perfectly).
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200 Marriage Jokes 1. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 2. Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a.
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lifestyle So take a break from the serious stuff and share a laugh with your significant other. We've got 151 marriage jokes to tickle your funny bone and bring joy to your relationship. It's a.
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Joke Lists 35 Relatable and Hilarious Marriage Jokes Your Wife Will Love By The Dad Oct 3, 2020 Credit: Getty/Luis Alvarez Relationships are hard. Marriage? Even harder. Anyone who says marriage is easy is lying. Don't get us wrong: Marriage has its perks. You don't have to try so hard in bed all the time to impress a permanent partner.
51 Kinky Husband and Wife Jokes for Couples EverythingMom
115 Funny One-Liner Jokes to Have You Laughing Out Loud Last Updated: July 11, 2023 What a better way to make somebody laugh than a well-timed funny one-liner? That's why we've compiled a list of the best single line jokes split into six distinct categories: Short Yet Very Funny Clever and Witty Pun -liners People related Life Situations